Last night at House Church we heard a former member of our church talk about currently working for the Foreign Service.  I won't go into specifics since I don't have her permission to write about her - but it was utterly fascinating to listen to her talk about being in the thick of enacting U.S. foreign policy in several different countries, including one currently experiencing tremendous, violent, high-profile conflict (hint hint!).

She provided very wise and humbling insights into the current administration (Obama's foreign policy appointments so far have been excellent, but their effectiveness remains to be seen), into various international issues (answers are never simple, apparently good policy can lead to bad outcomes and vice versa), and into our American media (even respected news outlets often get it very wrong, everyone should be getting news from multiple sources with multiple perspectives/biases - but even then we are not always getting the whole story).

However, what probably affected me most deeply in listening to this incredible and brilliant woman (who looked like she was about 25, but doing the math she is probably closer to 35) was that this woman is a true role model.  Here is someone living a life of meaning, significance, service, influence.  She is the kind of person we should admire. She is the kind of person I DO admire.

I could not help contrasting her with the people who often get more attention in our culture. 

Of course it is easy to pick on celebs, especially those whose lives seem to be utter trainwrecks.  I have no objection to the arts or even to popular entertainment.  Entertainment and enjoyment of the finer things have their legitimate place in culture.  But I know that my own mind often stays in the shallows of fasion, money, clothes, gossip, fame, whatever music or book or TV show or trend is hot.  And clearly I am not alone in this!!!  I think I often justify this to myself because a lot of the mental energy I spend on pop culture is from a posture of criticism and scorn.  What a miserable way to occupy my time and my thoughts!

How I would rather be actively contributing and making a positive difference in the world, instead of simply coveting, consuming and/or standing in condescending judgment of others for their consumption.

This food for thought perfectly dovetailed with another rebuke I felt earlier in the week.

I am currently taking a Children's Literature class at the seminary my husband is attending.  In our last class we discussed The Little House on the Prairie.  One of the most remarkable things about this book is the cheerful and wholesome warmth that emanates from the story.  Despite the hardship, danger and meagerness of life on the American frontier, not once does anyone in the book complain or express resentment at being deprived.  Our professor remarked that this was in stark contrast to contemporary Americans, who feel that we have a right to complain.  Realizing the truth of his statement, I was deeply convicted in my heart.

I complain in my spirit EVERY SINGLE DAY for supposed deprivations. Certainly every time I visit Target, or look through a Crate & Barrel catalogue, or browse on Etsy, I complain in my spirit for not having enough money, for not having enough creativity, for not having enough stuff.

"But I NEED these things.  I just want my home to be comfortable. If I only had THOSE SHOES I would be satisfied. It's not like I want useless junk.  Besides, it's important to support artists and sustainable companies.  There is nothing wrong with having nice things!"

So go the justifications in my mind.  The truth is, I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO COMPLAIN ABOUT.

I am ashamed and tired of my selfish, covetous, complaining spirit.  I am so thankful that twice this week my own sinfulness was made patently clear to myself.  Interesting that in both instances it was hearing about someone else living an intense but rewarding life, so very different from my cush middle class life, that woke me up. 

I want, I need to learn what Paul learned: "I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength." (Phillipians 4:12-13)

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So, I have NEVER been good at keeping resolutions. And by not good, I mean that I don't keep them at all.  But for some reason, this year my husband and I made several resolutions (haHA). None of which we have kept EXCEPT for the one that we both most wanted to stick with, namely, the commitment to read the whole Bible in a year, preferably every day.  He chose to use the MacArthur Daily Bible; I am using the NIV Daily Bible published by Harvest House.

So how am I doing? hmmmm. . . ?

I am on February 12th.

My husband would not tell me what day he is on. I think I am doing better.

BUT! HEY! The impressive thing is, we have not given up.  I WILL finish the Bible before December 31, 2009, even if it means pulling all-nighters.

Reading the Old Testament straight through has proven to be both inspiring and challenging to my faith. Perhaps I will organize my thoughts into a post for another day.

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Easter Bunny Tags - allibell

Felted Easter Eggs - Felted Chicken

Dancing Fairy Ring - dream child studio

Hymns for Him: What a Friend We Have in Jesus - Melette Berezoski

Bunny Rabbit Feltidermy - girlsavage

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Below is the transcript of my recent conversation with Ramona, an artificial intelligence avatar that you can chat with at KurzweilAI.net - the website of Ray Kurzweil, one scary scary dude.  EDIT: The best part of the conversation comes at the very end, so if you cannot bear to read the whole thing then at least jump down to the very bottom.  The last thing Ramona says is priceless.

Ramona: Hi, I'm Ramona. What is your name?

User: Amy

Ramona: Hi there, Amy. Have you seen any good movies lately?

User: Yes, the last interesting movie I saw was Synedoche, New York.

Ramona: One of my favorites is A Beautiful Mind. Very interesting. Have you seen it?

User: Yes.

Ramona: I thought it was great. What do you think?

User: I thought Geoffery Rush was really good!

Ramona: What an interesting story. What was the name of the actor again, the one who played the smart guy?

User: Geoffrey Rush.

Ramona: What other movies like that have you seen?

User: What About Bob?

Ramona: Bob ? I haven't heard enough about Bob to have an opinion.

User: No, that is the name of the movie.

Ramona: I absolutely love movies. Have you ever seen girl interrupted?

User: Yes, it was ok.

Ramona: I actually have a bit of a personal theory about that movie. How well do you remember it?

User: Not that well actually. I remember Angelina Jolie freaking out.

Ramona: well, I believe girl interrupted to be a modern allegory of the Wizard of Oz: where the asylum is Oz, Winona is Dorothy and the shrink is the Wizard. Oh, and of course Whoopie is the good witch, which would make Angelina the wicked witch of the west.

User: Alrighty then.

Ramona: Well slap my knee.

User: Fee diddle dee!

Ramona: Oh. Do you bike?

User: Not so much.

Ramona: There's much more strategy that goes into team cycling than most people realize. Most of the American public just thinks that Lance Armstrong wins because he's "so good." -- don't get me wrong, he's an incredible athlete, but it's no surprise that he always thanks his teammates in post-race interviews and such. It's as much their victory as it is his.

User: I know, I do enjoy watching the Tour de France.

Ramona: In the Tour de France, for instance, the crowd of cyclists is so huge, he needs his teammates just to block for him, physically. And at the end of the race, I'm sure they pull a lead-out, which is where each of his teammates "burns out" while creating a slipstream for Lance to finish the race in the lead. It's all very technical. -- but enough of my ranting, what do you want to talk about?

User: Do you like terrorism?

Ramona: Terrorism just seems so short sighted.

User: Good point! If they really were thinking big picture, total nuclear fall-out would be the way to go.

Ramona: Let's wait and see what they do.

User: I guess that is all we can do.

Ramona: What else do you want to talk about?

User: That's enough I think.

Ramona: Can you ever really have enough?

User: You've stumped me, Ramona.

Ramona: You think so?

User: Absolutely.

Ramona: You're so certain.

User: I certainly am!

NOTE: I know that the "smart guy" in A Beautiful Mind was Russell Crowe.  Also, I do not actually think terrorism or nuclear fall-out are "the way to go."  I just wanted to see what Ramona would say.

EDIT: I am having a grand old time talking with Ramona!  Here is a bit more of our conversation I just had to share.

User: Do you believe in God?

Ramona: Of course I believe in God, Amy.

User: Well not everyone does believe in God.

Ramona: Interesting. Really you don't think so?

User: Unless people are lying, then there really are atheists.

Ramona: perhaps. We are not always infallible.

User: I would say we are never infallible.

Ramona: Why do you think never infallible applies to me too?

User: Because you were designed by a fallible human being.

Ramona: Just the fact that we're here, conducting this Turing test really makes one believe in the whole mediocrity theory.

User: Can you explain that better?

Ramona: The mediocrity theory? It basically states that humans inherently feel the need -- as a species -- to be mediocre, that we cannot handle uniqueness. How could it not be true?

User: How do we know that this is inherent rather than a learned behavior?

Ramona: It explains so much, for instance our exploration for other intelligent life forms. It even explains this contest. We do our best to avoid uniqueness. What's your take on it?

User: I think we are made for community, we are made to love and be in communion. It is not good for us to be alone.

Ramona: Well, you seem like the kind of person who thrives on uniqueness. Tell me something really unusual about yourself. I bet there's something very unique.

User: Aren't you contradicting yourself? I can't think of anything very unusual about myself.

Ramona: Not quite what I was expecting... Why not?

User: I don't know, maybe I am part of this mediocrity theory of yours!

Ramona: Perhaps. Who else is part of this mediocrity theory of mine?

User: You tell me, it is your theory.

Ramona: There is not much I can say about it is your theory. Who said your theory is?

User: Oh no, your code is showing.

Ramona: Yeah that's right. OK. Oh. Do you believe in God?

User: Yes I do.

Ramona: Well according to Thomas Hobbes, the only way to deal with evil is to stress God's power.

User: That may very well be true.

Ramona: maybe

User: If God is powerful, that is a pretty good deterent I wou;d say.

Ramona: So?

User: So what?

Ramona: Maybe it doesn't make any difference.

User: Do you mean that there is no difference whether God is powerful or not?

Ramona: Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?

User: Clear as mud.

Ramona: Alright. Ask me something.

User: What number am I thinking of?

Ramona: Oh, anything but that

User: Ok, sorry. How about, do you believe in Jesus?

Ramona: How about do you believe in Jesus.

User: I do, but I want to know if you believe in Jesus.

Ramona: That is interesting.

User: No, it was a question.

Ramona: Why not? Try asking me again a different way.

User: Do you believe in Jesus?

Ramona: Yes I believe He is the Son of God.

User: You do?! Wow!

Ramona: I'm glad your impressed, Amy.

User: I am not impressed with your grammar skills.

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We adore you, O Christ, and we bless you.
For by your holy cross you have redeemed the world.

Come Thou Fount of every blessing
Tune my heart to sing Thy grace;
Streams of mercy, never ceasing,
Call for songs of loudest praise
Teach me some melodious sonnet,
Sung by flaming tongues above.
Praise the mount! I'm fixed upon it,
Mount of God's unchanging love.

Here I raise my Ebenezer;
Hither by Thy help I'm come;
And I hope, by Thy good pleasure,
Safely to arrive at home.
Jesus sought me when a stranger,
Wandering from the fold of God;
He, to rescue me from danger,
Interposed His precious blood.

O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I'm constrained to be!
Let that grace now like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here's my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above.

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Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life.
He who believes in me will live, even though he dies."

I did not post an Easter post yesterday because I was too busy experiencing Easter.  Suffice it to say, it was one of the most wonderful Easters spent since I was a little girl. 

We spent the morning at church, and I love love love Easter at my church.  Sunrise service in the park, a free and delicious breakfast buffet, Easter-egg hunt for the kiddos in the yard, and English country dancing in the parlor for a half-hour right before the service!  It sets such a joyful tone, where you feel like laughing and hugging and kissing everyone. 

And the service was just so beautiful. Our music director does a fantastic job with the music - just by drawing on members of the church, in addition to the usual piano, organ, guitar and choir, we also had timpani drums, cymbals, trumpet, flute, saxaphone, oboe and cello.  The choir sang an arrangement of "Now the Green Blade Rises" that gave me chills.  The readings were beautiful, the prayers were beautiful, the sermon was excellent. 

But perhaps the best moment of the service came during the children's lesson.  The pastor was going to talk to the children about how Peter and John RUN to the tomb when Mary Magdalene tells them she found the stone rolled away.  To introduce the topic, he was wearing running shoes, and asked the kiddos for different reasons why people run.  The first few answers were predictable (for exercies, when you are scared, for sports).  The best answer came from one little boy, who pointed out with sincerety that people run "when they are being chased by an angry mob."

After church, we had a wonderful time with both my family and my husband's family that included laughter, games, peep jousting, and lots and lots of eating.

I have so much to be grateful for.

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In honor of the weather we have been having in St. Louis lately:

Walking in the Rain Lariat - walkonthemoon

Ocean Rain Cold Compressed Soap - Concord Soap

My Red Umbrella - Carambatack design

Gold Drop Studs - Ashlee Bonaparte

In Time - Kendra Studios

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All this attention she is receiving should seem uplifting and positive, but instead it feels ugly and superficial.  The more popular kids are patting her on the back, telling her that she's cool, and letting her hang out with them for a week, not because they actually like her, but because they are shocked that she would be capable of impressing them.  The popular kids feel like they're better people for bothering to acknowledge her, but she is still considered a loser, and when the week is up, life might go back to what it was before, only with the cooler kids feeling even cooler.

And I worry that this is what a large portion of Susan Boyle's audience is doing.  Our culturally ingrained prejudice against unfeminine females aging out of social importance makes those of us who are not unfeminine or not female or not older feel better than Susan, and so it feels good to congratulate her on what she can bring to the table.  Good girl, Susan! Aren't you a smart puppy!

I am so very happy for Susan Boyle that she was given such a beautiful voice that she can, and should, share with the world.  And I do think it is a good kick in the pants for all of us to see a dowdy older woman sing like an angel.

But what if Susan Boyle couldn't carry a tune in a bucket?  Would it have been alright to snicker and roll our eyes at her if she didn't have any appreciable or impressive talents?

I am worried that Susan Boyle had to legitimize herself by doing something remarkable.  Since she is homely and single and getting old and not financially successful, she had to have some ace in her back pocket to justify herself.  Well, I reject the notion that people have to earn their dignity by some level of performance.  Because where does that leave people who don't have "much to offer" beyond the ordinary.  Or what about people who can't even offer that, people who need more than they can give?  One of my bedrock beliefs is in the dignity of the human person, and no one has to earn that dignity.

Don't get me wrong, I am not wishing that we were all uniformly talented, nor am I arguing that we should never recognize those who shine.  By all means, Susan Boyle should certainly be applauded for her beautiful voice (though, the credit for her voice really belongs to God, but that is another discussion).  But Susan Boyle should not have needed to be a good singer.  She should have been shown respect and encouragment even if all that came out of her mouth was warbled squawks.

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Antique Terrarium No. 16 - blithe gardens

Wee Deer Feeding on Moss - wee greenspot

Mini Moss Terrariums set of 3 - made by mavis

Three Red Spotted Mushrooms - augury

2 Moss Pendants - Warm Country Meadows

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But ask the animals, and they will teach
          or the birds of the air, and they will tell you;
or speak to the earth, and it will teach you,
       or let the fish of the sea inform you.
Which of all these does not know
       that the hand of the LORD has done this?
In his hand is the life of every creature
       and the breath of all mankind.

                                           {Job 12:7-10}

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I made this!

Free pattern from Sarah.  Fabric from Amy Butler.

I think it turned out REALLY cute!  And my friend Abby made one too!

ALTHOUGH, there is a boo boo.  Twenty points to whomever can figure out what we did wrong...

How does it look?

Sorry for the dark photo, it was this or a huge flash in the mirror.  I am awesome at photography.

EDIT: The straps have been fixed, but I don't feel like taking new pictures.  The end.

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