Oh but I keed, I keed!  Happy Canada Day!

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Happy 4th of July weekend, my fellow 'mericans!  I'm headed for the country for a few days to breathe deeply, feel grass between my toes, wade in clean waters, laugh and eat with family and friends. God bless America - and the whole world.

Salt Box Country Birdhouse - birdhouseaccent

USA Map Necklace - Basil the Cat

Republican Elephant Onesie - Sweet Little Jack

The Symbol of Change - blinkphoto

American Flag Quilt - Navoou Quilt Co.

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"I have three things I'd like to say today.  First, while you were sleeping last night, 30,000 kids died of starvation or diseases related to malnutrition. Second, most of you don't give a shit.  What's worse is that you're more upset with the fact that I said shit than the fact that 30,000 kids died last night."

- Tony Campolo (via Christianity Today)

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Yesterday's post of that quote from Tony Campolo was inspired by all the buzz going on amongst Christian bloggers over Derek Webb's new album, Stockholm Syndrome.  There has been some apparent controversy (some think perhaps contrived as a publicity stunt, though that may be unfair to assume) about the fact that Derek uses the word "shit" in one of his songs, wherein he roughly paraphrases the Campolo quote.  From Derek's song:

“we can talk and debate until we’re blue in the face
about the language and tradition that he’s comin’ to save
meanwhile we sit just like we don’t give a shit
about 50,000 people who are dyin’ today.”

My dear friend and loyal reader, Andrea, made an important point in the comments of yesterday's post. I am assuming she won't mind if I quote her:

"What I notice is campolo's anger. As with so much that he says, is his purpose really to motivate apathetic Christians, or to make the Christians he approves of feel self-righteous and even hateful toward 'those other Christians who are doing less than *I* am for the poor and hungry'? Whatever his purpose, I think the result is the latter. I don't think he serves either the poor or the church here."

I posted Campolo's quote because I thought it was a genuinely thought provoking statement. I think that Campolo and Webb make a very real point, and we should be angry when WE (not just THEY) are failing as Christians.  But I also very much agree with Andrea that too much negativity and anger just results in self-righteous finger-pointing.

So what do you think?  Do anger and harsh words ever have a place in Christian rhetoric?  Or do they just inspire further sin?  Where is the line between being a prophet zealous for the truth, and just being a self-righteous jerk? Do Tony Campolo and Derek Webb cross the line, or do they serve an important purpose?

(note: This topic is also being talked about by Rachel Held Evans and the Internet Monk.)

(as an aside: I've already bought Derek Webb's album and listened to it, and I didn't care much for it. Sad panda, because he has been one of my favorites since I was 14 years old!  Maybe it will grow on me.)

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I have never been particularly fond of mysteries before.  Not so much because I disliked the genre, but simply because I ignored it out of disinterest.  As a child I read nearly every single book in The Boxcar Children series.  And in high school I had to read a few stories featuring Sherlock Holmes.  Besides a few random books here and there, that is about it.

Well I don't know why, but I am on a total mystery kick these days.  I suddenly cannot get enough - I have been reading and watching all the mystery novels and  movies I have time for!  I guess it started a few months ago when, on a whim, I rented Murder on the Orient Express, and I LOVED it.  Right now PBS is featuring Miss Marple films on Masterpiece Mystery on Sunday nights!

My favorite sleuths so far include:

Brother Cadfael (by Ellis Peters)
Hercule Poirot (Agatha Christie)
Miss Marple (Agatha Christie)
Hetty Wainthrop (featuring an anorable young Dominic Monaghan)
Father Brown (GK Chesterton)
Joe Leaphorn & Jim Chee (Tony Hillerman)

I just took out the first of the Lord Peter Wimsey novels by Dorothy Sayers from the library. And next on my list is an Amelia Peabody novel by Elizabeth Peters.

Do any of you enjoy mystery novels and movies as much as I do? Any recommendations?

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A little love for local artists, since our beloved city is in the nation's spotlight for some sporting event or other. :P

Sunburst Folk Flower - Linda Solovic

Little Hoot Rattle - Ginger & Tu

Peculiar Purple Yarn - Dyeabolical Yarn

Secret Garden Natural Hair Clip - The Honeycomb

Ginko Earrings - Lucky Lovely

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"Most people are other people.  Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation."  - Oscar Wilde

"God has given you one face, and you make yourself another."  - William Shakespeare

"For you created my inmost being;
       you knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
       your works are wonderful,
       I know that full well." - Psalm 139:13-14

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I know that the whole "who am I?" question is somewhat cliched and perhaps tiresome. But it is a question that I have been reflecting on lately, and I am having a hard time coming up with the answer.

Or perhaps more accurately, I am wondering three things that pertain to who I am:

1) What do I want?
2) What ought I to be doing right now?
3) What do I believe?

The thing is, I am very easily swayed into changing my mind about these things.  I am what Paul warns about in Ephesians, an infant tossed about on the waves of ideas.  I read something by one person, and I think "that is what I believe!" Then I read something else and I think "hmmm, that sounds right too."  One day I am ready to sell all my belongings and reject all consumerism and vanity!  The next day I am at Target or browsing Etsy.com or looking through an REI catalogue and finding things that I NEEEEEEEED to be happy.  Depending on which mood, trend or value I am espousing at the moment, I say "this is what my life should be like." But none of it ever matches my life right now.

I have a serious problem with contentment.

I KNOW that the answer to this is to "do God's will" and to follow his lead in my life.  To be the person he made me to be, and to stop trying to be everyone else.

But boy that is easier said than done.  In the cacophany of the world around me - books and films and TV and blogs (OH GOSH, SO MANY BLOGS) and facebook and twitter and friends and family and magazines and EVERYTHING - even the Bible and everyone's different interpretations on what it is saying - I cannot hear myself think. I cannot hear MYSELF.  And more importantly, I cannot hear God.  And there are even times I wonder if He is even really there.

I think I need a week, or a month, or a YEAR of silence and solitude.

Does anyone else have this much trouble clarifying for themselves who they really are, what they want, and what they believe?  Should I quit my self-centered whining and go feed a hungry person or something?

(Bonus points for identifying where the title for this post comes from. Except for you Rachel, I know you know where it comes from.)

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My husband's family suffered an unspeakably horrible tragedy this week.

I don't feel comfortable writing about it here, since I try to keep things semi-anonymous.  But if you live in St. Louis or Seattle and have been watching the news, then you have heard about what happened.

I don't know if and when I will be back to write here again.  As of now, I am just waiting for life to feel normal again, and I am not sure how long that will take.  Until then, I just don't have much of anything to say.

I will say that in the midst of this dark and evil time, God's grace has been abundant. The light is truly greater than the darkness. Our hearts have been filled with love and forgiveness, even in the midst of sorrow, anger and fear.  Scripture has been an incredible comfort, particularly the book of Romans - a book I used to find scary and hard to read.  The eighth chapter of Romans just might be my favorite of the whole Bible.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28) "For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8:38)

I know that my Redeemer lives!
What comfort this sweet sentence gives!
He lives, he lives, who once was dead;
He lives, my ever living head!

He lives to silence all my fears;
He lives to wipe away my tears;
He lives to calm my troubled heart;
He lives all blessings to impart.

He lives and grants me daily breath;
He lives, and I shall conquer death;
He lives my mansion to prepare;
He lives to bring me safely there.

He lives, all glory to his name!
He lives, my savior, still the same;
What joy this blest assurance gives:
I know that my Redeemer lives!

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I'm longing for a writing outlet, somewhere to put all these feelings, all these terrible horrible feelings. I am too vulnerable to write about this (this? THIS?! HOW CAN THIS HAVE HAPPENED?!!!) publically, and something tells me no one would find that appropriate anyway. But I am also finding it very difficult to talk about, and so the feelings build up. So perhaps I need to write a letter to God. That is what she used to do.

I have had the song "I Will Rise" by Chris Tomlin stuck in my head for several days now, and that has been a comfort.  One of my brothers-in-law sang it at her funeral. I wish I could share that version, but this will have to suffice.

Amen.

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