The weather outside is absolutely perfect.  Clear blue sky. Chilly. The leaves haven't quite begun changing yet, but I can tell they are on the brink. One morning I will wake up to an eruption of red and yellow and orange!

But I am in here, not out there. I'm here in this office. I'm Stuck. I'm doing what I have to do.

But I can't really talk about that here. The stuckness, that is. Not right now. And that frustrates me, more than I can say. Mostly because I HATE vague blog posts! I mean, why write anything at all if you can't explain what you are talking about? (Because I just needed to, that's why.)

But that's not the only reason I'm frustrated.  I am longing, ACHING for the day when I can feel free again. Free to be totally honest. Free to be using the gifts that God gave me. Free to feel like I am really living instead of just getting by.

I try to keep it all in perspective, to count my blessings, to realize that I can be (should be) using my gifts where I am right now. "Bloom where you're planted." That sort of thing.

But I can't explain why that isn't working. Why that isn't enough.

My life is fuller now than it has been in a long time, and I am happy and grateful for that, I really am! And I am going to write more about all that soon. But there is just one huge piece that isn't fitting, and it's hard not to let that blot out the sun.

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